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When Stress Knocks

Mar 31, 2009 05:00PM ● By Super Admin

Here we are in a challenging economic time. Pressures and problems seem to arise daily, bringing forth questions that weigh heavily on the hearts and lives of us all. So, how do we preserve the peace and happiness of our homes in stressful and trying times?I believe that there is a fundamental aspect to truth and that is, it never changes. Truth will always be true regardless of the conditions that surround it. Jesus said that how we hear and what we do will determine the foundation that our lives and homes will be built upon (Matthew 7:24-27). He also said that the same storms come against every life and home. There are foundational truths that apply to every life and to every home and they can work to preserve us even in the most difficult of times.Here are just three of the 10 Keys to Building a Happy Home that I think can be helpful to remember when we are facing the storms of adversity. I believe that these foundational truths can work to preserve and protect our homes and our marriages.ONE: Make your husband or your wife your companion. Never allow stress to move you apart. One of the main reasons we marry is for companionship. In hard times, don’t drift apart and push away from each other. These are the times we need to draw close and receive strength from our partner. TWO: Learn to Communicate. Keep building the bridge!Lack of communication is the number one problem in distressed marriages. To communicate means to know each other. We communicate when we both “know” what we are talking about. In addition, each person needs to know when to speak, and when to listen; there cannot be two speakers at the same time. Communication involves, work, sensitivity, care, intimacy, pain, patience and being naked physically and emotionally. The supreme goal in marriage is to “know” and “be known” and still love. Remember, deceit will destroy communication and connection in any marriage, so for this reason, the truth is always the only answer. THREE: Learn to deal with problems. This is directly connected to communication. Your problem is not unique or unsolvable. All marriages have problems. So, the problem isn’t the problem. The problem is in the problem solving.Illustration: man driving a car. The oil light comes on – problem. All attempts and efforts to correct it fail, so man gets hammer and breaks the light.The first thing in problem solving is to identify the true problem, not the symptoms on the surface (oil light). Talking can help. Counselors can help. There must be true communication. The second thing is the solution. Talking is a start but not a solution. There must be a corresponding action or step taken. It will take some compromise on both sides; companions must work together to find the place of agreement (Amos 3:7).Some of your problems will involve anger and how to handle it, the unique differences between male and female, in-laws, money, sex, offers of infidelity, selfishness, the “good ol’ days,” and looking back instead looking forward, just to name a few. But, with the right foundation under your marriage, no problem can bring your commitment down. A happy home is something you must work at and build, and most importantly, maintain. Every relationship we have could become better if we would work at applying these truths and principles daily. The best is yet to come!Don Pritchard is the founder and Senior Pastor at Solid Rock Faith Center in Shingle Springs. He can be reached at 530-642-2038, or [email protected].

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Holiday Time

Nov 30, 2008 04:00PM ● By Super Admin

Here come the Holidays! Are you psyched? The Christmas décor came out even earlier than usual in the department stores this year. In the middle of October, one friend said he saw a Santa in a store holding a pumpkin. I also received my Cabela’s Christmas 2008 catalog, and do you know that inside they gave me a coupon for 20 percent off if I place an order of $150 dollars or more? Wow, I was tempted to look for things in the catalog that I didn’t need just to save money and get a jump on my Christmas list and my holiday shopping!  For many of you, the demands and obligations of the holiday season propel you into a pace of life that is often fun, but also fast and furious. The parties, the shopping, the meals and the gatherings seem to subtly grow in magnitude each year. There is a part of us that looks forward to all of the frenetic festivity, but after all is said and done and another January rolls around, we often look back with tired bodies, depleted spirits and souls that replace “ho, ho, ho” with a sighing “ho, ho, hum.”   I think we have all wondered at one time or another, “Is it all necessary?” Moreover, have we celebrated the holidays with all the American gusto we can muster? Perhaps, but did we truly experience a spirit of gratitude during Thanksgiving and well up with the joy of Christmas? Are holidays hopelessly harried? I want to encourage you to be intentional, be courageous and do some things differently this year to fight that trend.  Start now and get out a piece of paper. Make a list of words that describe what you want your holidays to be like.  Brainstorm with your spouse and kids and get their desires down on the list. You might want to make a list of what you liked best about some of your past holidays, and what you liked least. Next, jot down some ideas about what you can intentionally do less of, or more of this year to get you closer to the holiday experience reflected in your list. Now, get out your calendar. Here’s where you will need the courage that I mentioned earlier. Block time out (or block time in) for the things that will help you to have the holiday season you are longing for. I hope you will take time to slow down, linger with your spouse and loiter with your kids. Making time to be fully present with your closest circle of family and friends is one of the most important gifts you can give and receive.    Finally, in the midst of all the demands of Christmas, don’t forget to reflect on the stunning reality of what the holiday means to you, whatever that may be. Here comes Christmas! Enjoy it to the fullest.Brian Long is senior pastor at the Church of the Foothills in Cameron Park. To reach Pastor Long, call 530-677-3057.

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Creating Memories

Jul 31, 2008 05:00PM ● By Super Admin

It was Rosa Parks, the iconic figure of the Civil Rights Movement, who said, “Memories of our lives, of our works and our deeds will continue in others.” Hallmarks of healthy families are the positive memories that they intentionally create. It is never too late to start building great family memories, and the greatest gifts that we can pass on to our children are those cherished recollections of family experiences.One thing is for certain – whether we like it or not – we create family memories, both good and bad. The challenge is making the investment, and having the commitment, to create a surplus of good memories. The things that tend to stick in our minds are not determined by whether they are spectacular or mundane, but by the level of which they touch our soul. There hasn’t been another time in history when we have had more opportunity to bond, been more electronically connected, had more things going on in our lives, and at the same time, been more distant from those closest to us. It is impossible to build positive memories without taking time. For too long we have bought into the “quality time” myth. The ironic thing is, what makes time “quality” is its quantity.One of the ways to build memories is to establish family traditions. Every year during our family vacation, we enjoy a “dad and kids camping extravaganza,” where we relish our time together under the stars, eating S’mores by the camp fire. The time spent with our family, whether it is a trip or in our own backyards, is simply invaluable and there should be no excuse not to make time for these family experiences.Another way to build memories is to tell stories. Everyone loves a good story, and if you want to capture the attention of an audience (especially kids), tell a story or reminisce about your favorite memory. My father, who is in his 70s, recently told me a story about his life revealing things that I never knew about him. I was fascinated and at the end of his story I said, “Dad, your kids and your grandkids need to hear more stories of your life.” There are times when our family will sit around the dinner table and tell stories about each other. A couple of the favorites are my son hitting me with an ax (I have the scar to prove it!), and my two-year-old daughter putting the new car in reverse and crashing it. Inevitably, the cries from around the table are “Tell a story about me! Tell a story about me!”The window of time that we have to create lasting memories in our family is relatively small. If we are not careful, we will let the opportunities slip through our fingers like sand. As parents, it is our responsibility to make the sacrifices to build positive memories for our family to cherish. <hr>David is the lead pastor at Cold Springs Community Church in Placerville. He can be reached at [email protected].

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