When Stress Knocks
Mar 31, 2009 05:00PM ● By Super Admin
Here we are in a challenging economic time. Pressures and problems seem to arise daily, bringing forth questions that weigh heavily on the hearts and lives of us all. So, how do we preserve the peace and happiness of our homes in stressful and trying times?
I believe that there is a fundamental aspect to truth and that is, it never changes. Truth will always be true regardless of the conditions that surround it. Jesus said that how we hear and what we do will determine the foundation that our lives and homes will be built upon (Matthew 7:24-27). He also said that the same storms come against every life and home. There are foundational truths that apply to every life and to every home and they can work to preserve us even in the most difficult of times.
Here are just three of the 10 Keys to Building a Happy Home that I think can be helpful to remember when we are facing the storms of adversity. I believe that these foundational truths can work to preserve and protect our homes and our marriages.
ONE: Make your husband or your wife your companion. Never allow stress to move you apart. One of the main reasons we marry is for companionship. In hard times, don’t drift apart and push away from each other. These are the times we need to draw close and receive strength from our partner.
TWO: Learn to Communicate. Keep building the bridge!
Lack of communication is the number one problem in distressed marriages. To communicate means to know each other. We communicate when we both “know” what we are talking about. In addition, each person needs to know when to speak, and when to listen; there cannot be two speakers at the same time.
Communication involves, work, sensitivity, care, intimacy, pain, patience and being naked physically and emotionally. The supreme goal in marriage is to “know” and “be known” and still love. Remember, deceit will destroy communication and connection in any marriage, so for this reason, the truth is always the only answer.
THREE: Learn to deal with problems. This is directly connected to communication. Your problem is not unique or unsolvable. All marriages have problems. So, the problem isn’t the problem. The problem is in the problem solving.
Illustration: man driving a car. The oil light comes on – problem. All attempts and efforts to correct it fail, so man gets hammer and breaks the light.
The first thing in problem solving is to identify the true problem, not the symptoms on the surface (oil light). Talking can help. Counselors can help. There must be true communication. The second thing is the solution. Talking is a start but not a solution. There must be a corresponding action or step taken. It will take some compromise on both sides; companions must work together to find the place of agreement (Amos 3:7).
Some of your problems will involve anger and how to handle it, the unique differences between male and female, in-laws, money, sex, offers of infidelity, selfishness, the “good ol’ days,” and looking back instead looking forward, just to name a few. But, with the right foundation under your marriage, no problem can bring your commitment down.
A happy home is something you must work at and build, and most importantly, maintain. Every relationship we have could become better if we would work at applying these truths and principles daily. The best is yet to come!
Don Pritchard is the founder and Senior Pastor at Solid Rock Faith Center in Shingle Springs. He can be reached at 530-642-2038, or [email protected].
I believe that there is a fundamental aspect to truth and that is, it never changes. Truth will always be true regardless of the conditions that surround it. Jesus said that how we hear and what we do will determine the foundation that our lives and homes will be built upon (Matthew 7:24-27). He also said that the same storms come against every life and home. There are foundational truths that apply to every life and to every home and they can work to preserve us even in the most difficult of times.
Here are just three of the 10 Keys to Building a Happy Home that I think can be helpful to remember when we are facing the storms of adversity. I believe that these foundational truths can work to preserve and protect our homes and our marriages.
ONE: Make your husband or your wife your companion. Never allow stress to move you apart. One of the main reasons we marry is for companionship. In hard times, don’t drift apart and push away from each other. These are the times we need to draw close and receive strength from our partner.
TWO: Learn to Communicate. Keep building the bridge!
Lack of communication is the number one problem in distressed marriages. To communicate means to know each other. We communicate when we both “know” what we are talking about. In addition, each person needs to know when to speak, and when to listen; there cannot be two speakers at the same time.
Communication involves, work, sensitivity, care, intimacy, pain, patience and being naked physically and emotionally. The supreme goal in marriage is to “know” and “be known” and still love. Remember, deceit will destroy communication and connection in any marriage, so for this reason, the truth is always the only answer.
THREE: Learn to deal with problems. This is directly connected to communication. Your problem is not unique or unsolvable. All marriages have problems. So, the problem isn’t the problem. The problem is in the problem solving.
Illustration: man driving a car. The oil light comes on – problem. All attempts and efforts to correct it fail, so man gets hammer and breaks the light.
The first thing in problem solving is to identify the true problem, not the symptoms on the surface (oil light). Talking can help. Counselors can help. There must be true communication. The second thing is the solution. Talking is a start but not a solution. There must be a corresponding action or step taken. It will take some compromise on both sides; companions must work together to find the place of agreement (Amos 3:7).
Some of your problems will involve anger and how to handle it, the unique differences between male and female, in-laws, money, sex, offers of infidelity, selfishness, the “good ol’ days,” and looking back instead looking forward, just to name a few. But, with the right foundation under your marriage, no problem can bring your commitment down.
A happy home is something you must work at and build, and most importantly, maintain. Every relationship we have could become better if we would work at applying these truths and principles daily. The best is yet to come!
Don Pritchard is the founder and Senior Pastor at Solid Rock Faith Center in Shingle Springs. He can be reached at 530-642-2038, or [email protected].